4. What are we looking for in a donor?
Updated: Jul 19, 2020
The perfect person, of course...
We were very surprised by the amount of information we got by just registering for a free account. However, there are 3 Levels of access to information outlined here and since we wanted to learn more about the donors, we paid for a 90 day Level 2 subscription.
Level 2 access to profiles includes:
genetic test summary
donor personal essay
extended donor profile
1-3 childhood photos
1-3 adult photos (if available)... If adult photos are not available, then there are two links to celebrity look-a-likes. Kara had a lot of fun with these. I’d often catch her drooling over some of the celebrity look-a-likes and had to remind her that that’s not the actual donor!
“Express Yourself” section
We jumped right into the profiles looking at the ones that looked interesting or fun. But realized quickly how easy it is to get lost diving into the detailed profiles of over 500 donors. So after an initial perusal, Kara and I sat down to seriously discuss what we each thought were the most important qualities and features for our donor to have.
Before sharing our thoughts, I'll say that this is a very personal decision. Every individual and couple has their own idea of what would make the perfect donor, much like what would make the perfect partner. What works for me/us might totally not resonate with someone else. I was hesitant to share our thoughts on this with others at first because I wanted to make sure that Kara and I listened to our own voices. And we did! So here it goes...
Some things that were important to me were his education, interests, genetic test results, a favorable family medical history, athleticism, and getting a sense of his personality. Kara seemed to boil her decision down to looks, athleticism and favorite foods. That girl just loves someone that is tall with dark hair, dark eyes, dark skin and enjoys chicken parm. But as we reviewed the donor profiles, I also found her paying close attention to the donor's family medical history and staff impressions.
As far as our kids knowing the donor, the Cryobank allows donors to select whether they want to remain anonymous, are open to consider meeting offspring in the future or have agreed for the Cryobank to share their identifying information when the kids turn 18. I like the idea of our kids having the option to meet the donor in the future. This was not a high priority for Kara but I prefer giving them the opportunity to decide whether they want to learn more about themselves in that way.
Having these discussions helped us apply filters and eventually narrow down our search. We reviewed all the information about the donors and saved 8 as our favorites. If we are being really honest, we were only truly interested in 4 of them but needed some backups. After a few weeks, we found ourselves always going back to the same one.
We have a wiener... I mean, WINNER!